Acceptance is Hard to Get
by The Forgotten Femmes
Summary: Maria has been bullied about her appearance basically her whole life. She finally decides to make some changes. What will her best friend Jasper think? AU/AH


**Title: **Acceptance Is Hard To Get

**Summary: **Maria has been bullied about her appearance basically her whole life. She finally decides to make some changes. What will her best friend Jasper think? AU/AH

**Pairing: **Jasper, Maria

**POV: **Maria's

**Entry for the Forgotten Femmes Anonymous Contest**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight or anything to do with it, Stephenie Meyer does.

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**_Maria,  
I love you. I always have and most likely always will. I cannot get you out of my mind. I think about you so often, you are beginning to take over all my other thoughts.  
If you are at all curious as to my identity, meet me at the bleachers after school tomorrow.  
I'll be waiting.  
Love always,  
Your Secret Admirer._**

I scoffed, crumpling up the note I had discovered attached to my locker. This wasn't the first time I had received a note from a fake admirer. And how did I know it was fake? Simple. You see, when you're seventeen, have red hair, are nearsighted, extremely pale and are rather noticeably overweight, you don't exactly catch the attention of many.

In fact, not even the girls would sit anywhere near me. The only time anyone came near me was if they had some smart-arse comment to make or just felt like picking on someone. It was as if I had some kind of disease; one that, if anyone should come too close, they would surely catch it and die.

So, instead, the majority of the school found fun in making me the target of their bullying.

Not the ideal way to spend your high school years.

There was no doubt in my mind that the note was either from a group of bitchy girls or dickhead guys, hoping I would stand around near the bleachers, patiently awaiting my 'admirer', just so they would have more bullying material when no-one showed.

Well, let me tell you, I'm not _that_ desperate.

I am brought out of my inner thoughts by the bell's shrill ring; signalling the beginning of lunch. I closed my locker, grabbed my bag and made my way towards the cafeteria, chucking the crumpled up note into the nearest bin on my way. Once arriving there I looked around, and, spotting an unoccupied table, I walked over and took a seat, placing my bag onto the table in front of me. I unzip my bag, pulling out my PB&J sandwich.

Glancing around, I feel as if all eyes are on me. Like everything I do it being critiqued. I know it is just my mind being paranoid, but after being picked on, tripped, laughed at and talked about as often as I have, I think I am entitled to a little paranoia.

And really, it is not that irrational. I'm the fat, unattractive, unpopular girl. I know from past experience that one false move can lead to weeks of teasing.

I realise I'm just getting myself worked up over nothing, so I instead return my attention back to the sandwich before me. I scrunch up my nose. I don't even like peanut butter and jam sandwiches, but it seems to be the only thing a fat kid can eat without being commented on about it. I used to bring a bag of chips for lunch, but that only led to remarks like 'Well no _wonder _she's so fat.' I even tried bringing a salad, but that only caused me to be accused of being on a diet, which of course led to me being once again laughed at.

Sometimes I really do wish everyone would just grow up and leave me alone. At least pick on someone else for a change.

I begrudgingly took a bite out of my sandwich, keeping my eyes on my lap. I didn't look up until I heard the chair across from me skid across the floor as its being pulled back. When I raise my head, I am met with the smiling face of my best friend.

You may remember me saying people generally avoided me like the plague. Well, it's true. Everyone does avoid me like the plague. Everyone that is, except Jasper.

I smile brightly back at him. Jasper would always be something that I would be endlessly grateful for. He and I have been friends pretty much ever since I transferred to this school in my eighth year. Of course, being the new kid and, well, the way I am, it was then that the bullying had started. In fact, it had been so bad that I had ended up spending most of my lunchtimes in the bathroom, crying. But then one day I was blessed with a miracle when Jasper offered me his friendship.

Thinking back on it now, I can't help but smile.

_3... 8... 5... 1..._

_I punched in the numbers required to open my locker, before yanking open the door, admittedly a little violently. I had just gotten a bottle of juice dumped on top of my head by some pompous jocks and was in a foul mood. I quickly pulled out the books I needed, before closing the door, only to jump about ten metres into the air when I saw a boy standing behind it. I was immediately shocked by how utterly... _beautiful_ he was. He was slightly taller than I, but I could tell he still had some growing to do. His hair was the colour of honey and fell down his face in perfect waves. The thing I was struck by most, however, were his eyes. They were the most stunning shade of blue and I felt as if I was staring straight into the ocean. They were mesmerizing._

_He chuckled lightly at my reaction. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you there."_

_I eyed him cautiously; not responding. I had only been here a week, but I already knew to be careful with whom I spoke to. He must have noticed I wasn't going to say anything, so he took the initiative and once again spoke up._

_"Look, um, I saw what those guys did to you earlier, and, even though I'm not associated with them or anything, I just wanted to say I'm really sorry. You don't deserve to be treated the way you have been. Especially since you're only new." _

_I looked down to the ground. "Yeah, like you even care." I mumbled._

_"I do, though," he protested. "And... look, I noticed that you were seated by yourself at lunch, and I thought maybe you wanted to come and sit with me instead? You know, tomorrow?"_

_"Why are you even so interested in me?" I asked._

_"Honestly; I have no idea. But I do know that everyone deserves to have at least one friend, and that's what I'm offering you. Just come sit with me tomorrow, okay?" And with that he began walking away._

_I did end up sitting with Jasper the next day at lunch. His friends were strongly against the idea, not wanting to been seen sitting with me I suppose, and soon we had both been sent to a separate table. Jasper insisted he didn't mind, though; that he would rather sit with me anyway._

_That was the day I knew I would be friends with Jasper for at least the remainder of my high school years._

_It also was not long after that, that I realised I had somehow ended up falling in love with him._

_Typical._

"Maria?" Jasper's voice brought me back into the present.

"Huh?" I reply dumbly.

"I've been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes. Is there something wrong?" I could see the genuine concern in his eyes and could feel my heart warming at the sight.

No Maria, you need to stop reacting to him like that. He sees you as a friend; nothing more. You need to accept that, I tell myself.

I notice he is waiting for my answer, so I just smile and reply that I am fine.

"Well, if you're sure," I could sense that he knew he would not get any further answer from me. "So are you excited about the holidays? I can't believe by the end of the day school will finally be over for the year."

"I actually hadn't really thought about it. I spose it will be good to have a break." Yeah, from getting bullied. "I'm gunna miss you though. I can't believe you are ditching me all holidays to go to England. Screw your family, I'm more important."

He laughed and I blushed at the sound. "I'm sure you'll be fine without me, besides I'm not that interesting to hang around with," Little did he know... "But you have to promise to write to me as often as possible. I don't know how I'm going to cope being surrounded by all my millions of little cousins. Hearing from you may be the only think that keeps me sane."

I nod my head. "I promise." Suddenly, as if on cue, the bell for end of lunch rang and we both got up, heading in opposite directions to class.

The remainder of the day passed without a hassle and before I knew it I was walking through my front door. There was no-one home –as usual- so, after grabbing a chocolate bar from the kitchen, I went straight to my bedroom. I as strode across the room, my attention was caught by my reflection in my full length mirror. I stopped to stand in front of it, taking in the image before me.

I immediately hated what I saw. I really was ridiculously unattractive. What I wouldn't do to be thin and _normal_ looking. My eyes moved to the chocolate bar in my hand _'No wonder she's so fat'_...

Tears sprung to my eyes and I soon found myself sitting on my bedroom floor, balling my eyes out.

Why me? What had I ever done as to deserve to have to live like this? Sometimes I wished I could just disappear, it's not like I would be missed.

After about an hour of crying and feeling sorry for myself, I finally managed to gain a little control. I was being ridiculous. If I hated the way I looked so much, it was up to me to fix it. I was the only one who could make this better. And I started by throwing the remainder of my chocolate into the bin beside me.

I was finally going to make some much delayed changes in my life. From now on, I would start eating healthily. I would exercise regularly and spend more time outdoors. I was determined, that by the time I returned to school next year, I would be a changed, more confident person.

The next lot of weeks were hard to say the least. I would make myself walk for at least one hour a day, rain, hail or shine. My entire diet had changed; I now strived to eat as well as possible, even influencing the rest of my family to do the same. At first, the change in my routine and diet was something that I had struggled to cope with, but the minute I looked into any reflective surface my resolve would kick back in and it wasn't long before things began to get easier.

I continued writing to Jasper throughout this, and even though I hadn't actually told him of the lifestyle changes I was making, just hearing from him kept me determined.

I had, however, told my parents of what I was doing quite some time ago, and they were both extremely helpful. My mum started making us healthy dinners (we hadn't had take away in months now) and my dad joined the gym with me, taking me there every weekend when he wasn't working.

My appearance soon began to rapidly change. I had lost a considerable amount of weight and I could honestly say I no longer saw myself as fat. Of course, I was still no stick figure, but I was happy, which was all that counted. My skin was no longer the horrid pale colour it had once been as I had acquired a tan from all the time I now spent outdoors walking. I had just recently dyed my hair and the ugly red had been replaced with a dark brown. I decided to keep my glasses –not wanting to have to stick my finger into my eye to use contacts- but got new, more stylish frames.

As I now stood before my full-length mirror I was finally satisfied with what I saw and couldn't help but smile. I was so extremely proud of myself from actually doing something to make me happy that that smile soon turned into a full on grin.

I could now honestly say I was happy.

The first day back at school finally arrived, and I was quite literally shaking with nerves. Sitting inside my car, I peered around the car park, searching for one car in particular. It wasn't long before I found it; a silver Aston Martin. Jasper's car. He must have only just arrived as I soon saw him opening the door and stepping out. Yep, still as handsome as what I remembered.

There weren't currently many other people around, so it wasn't long before he had spotted my car; making his way towards me.

I took a breath. This was it. I now knew what I was so nervous about. I really couldn't give a care what anyone else thought about my new appearance. Although it would be good to show everyone up, the only person who mattered was Jasper. I hoped I wouldn't let him down.

He was now less than ten metres away, so I too decided to get out.

Now only five metres away, Jasper froze when he saw me exit my car. By the look on his face, I was surprised his jaw had not dropped.

"Maria?"

I smiled, trying to hide my nervousness. "That's my name."

He finally snapped out of it enough to take a few more steps so he was now standing in front of me, looking at me from head to toe. I held my breath as I waited for his reaction.

"Wow, you look.... wow. I guess a lot has changed over the holidays," he said.

I laughed. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

He eyed me for a moment before speaking up again. "What I don't understand though is... why the sudden change? There was nothing wrong with the way you looked before."

I gave him an incredulous look. "Why? Jasper, I was getting bullied _every day_ because of the way I looked. A lot of nights I would go home in tears because I hated who I was with my entire being. I just couldn't stand it anymore. All I wanted was to finally not feel like an outcast, to actually feel like I belonged somewhere."

He gave me a sympathetic look. I wasn't having any of that. "Look, I'm finally happy with who I am. I don't need you feeling sorry for me. In fact, I was kinda under the impression that you would like the change, but I guess there's just no satisfying some people."

I turned to walk away but was stopped by a hand on my arm. "Maria, you are being silly. Do you honestly think that I don't love the way you look right now? That I don't currently think that you are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on both inside and out? I never said I didn't like your new looks; simply that I thought there was nothing wrong with them before."

Looking into his eyes, I found that I was unable to move. I could feel tears prickling my eyes at his words. Did he really think I was beautiful?

He suddenly took a step forward until we were mere inches apart.

"Maria," he sighed, bringing his hand up to cup my face.

My eyes widened. I couldn't believe what was happening, it was like a dream come true. In unison, we both leant our heads forward, meeting halfway. The minute Jasper's soft lips pressed to mine, I thought I was going to melt. It was the most amazing first kiss a girl could wish for. Suddenly, nothing else mattered; it was just me and him.

I snaked my arms up and around his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. He in turn held onto my hips, and I could feel his lips turn up into a smile. He pulled back slightly to look into my eyes, our foreheads touching. We stood there smiling at each other, before he leant in once again, but this time to place a tender kiss to my cheek. He then pulled me into a tight embrace, only to whisper in my ear,

"I thought I would never have a chance with you. After all, you never met me at the bleachers."


End file.
